I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
