In the future we'll all be gay
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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