I'm gonna have a badass scar
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
