considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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