Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
