I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
