in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
