I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
