What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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