I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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