I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
