She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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