is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
