I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
