Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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