If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
