Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
