I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
