you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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