he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
