I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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