it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
