I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
