the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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