Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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