Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
