i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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