you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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