The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
