It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
