the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
