Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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