i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
