We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
