Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I am morally bankrupt
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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