We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
