I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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