is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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