New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
His nipple licking is glorious
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