Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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