new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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