Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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