i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
