her facebook's as public as her vagina
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
