He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
