Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
