I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
do herpes really smell.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
