I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
