you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
