Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
