pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
